Therapy 101: The First Sessions
You’ve read my profile—maybe on Psychology Today, Alma, or somewhere similar. You click “Book a Consultation” with a mix of anticipation and anxiety. How is this going to go? How do I share my personal life with a stranger? Pause. Breathe.
As both a therapist and someone who’s sat on the other side as a client, I understand exactly how that moment feels. It’s a quiet kind of bravery to take the first step toward therapy. And yet, the beginning of the process can feel uncertain, awkward, and hopeful all at once.
The Consultation Call
Our first connection is usually a 15–20 minute consultation call. During this time, I’ll ask what’s bringing you in, what kind of support you’re looking for, and if you’ve been in therapy before. I may ask about what kinds of approaches resonate with you—whether you’re drawn to something more practical like CBT, or reflective, relational work. That said, therapists differ widely in their styles, so I encourage you to come to the call the same way you’d talk to someone you met on a subway ride—curious, human, and open to the unknown.
This consultation is really about seeing if we're a good fit. People often ask, “How will I know?” And my honest answer is, “Meet a few therapists before choosing the one that feels right.” Sometimes there’s a clear sense of comfort or connection, and other times, it takes a few sessions to decide. It’s okay to feel unsure or even guarded in the beginning. Therapy is a relationship that grows with time.
The First Session
In our first full session, we’ll go over the logistics—paperwork, confidentiality and its limits, and practice policies. Then we slowly begin to unfold your story. I’ll ask a lot of questions at first—not to overwhelm, but to understand. I’ll want to know about your history, important relationships, and formative experiences. I may ask about your childhood, family structure, or current supports, all to begin understanding your attachment style and the lenses through which you see the world. I’ll also want to know your strengths, so we can use them as internal resources during the work.
But we always go at your pace. Sometimes that means gently stepping into a topic, then stepping back out. You might say, “I’d rather not talk about that,” and that’s completely okay. I’m listening not only to your words but to your nervous system, your tone, your pauses. Think of therapy like walking slowly through a doorway. There’s no need to rush in and unpack everything all at once.
Building Connection & Safety
The early phase of therapy is really about building a sense of safety. In my view, that’s the foundation of all meaningful work. These first few sessions can feel a little awkward—like any new relationship—but that doesn’t mean something’s wrong. In fact, research tells us that your perception of safety, empathy, and trust in the therapeutic relationship is one of the biggest predictors of growth. This means you don’t have to come in knowing how to “do” therapy. You don’t have to say the right thing, or cry, or reveal your deepest wounds right away. Even confusion and uncertainty have a place here.
Beginning to Explore Patterns
As we move forward, we’ll start to gently identify patterns—how you relate to others, how you respond to stress, what kinds of internal narratives have shaped your world. We may talk about coping strategies, emotional triggers, or the protective parts of you that have helped you survive. I often bring in reflections or curious questions. Sometimes I offer psychoeducation or small between-session practices, like journaling or somatic check-ins. Together, we may begin to form some soft goals for your therapy—not to add pressure, but to help guide our direction. Many clients notice shifts early on: a sense of relief, increased awareness, or even unexpected discomfort. All of it is part of the process.
What You Don’t Need to Do
You don’t need to arrive with a perfect timeline or cohesive story. You’re not expected to cry, be emotionally “available,” or explain everything in one go. Sometimes, just showing up is the most courageous part. It’s worth remembering that the journey itself—the space between insight and integration—is just as important as the destination. In many ways, I see myself less as a guide and more as a fellow traveler. We walk this road together.
Therapy Is a Process, Not a Fix
Therapy is not a fix. It’s a process—sometimes messy, often nonlinear, and always deeply personal. It’s not about perfection. Healing looks different for everyone. For some, it’s greater emotional resilience; for others, it’s the ability to set boundaries, reconnect with the body, or feel a sense of internal clarity. Over time, what therapy offers is an invitation to return to yourself with more compassion and awareness.
So if you’re wondering whether therapy might be a good fit—or if you’re looking to begin again—I’d be honored to hold space for your story. You can reach me here.